In the wake of the recent Fantastic Four debacle (see our 0.5/5 star review HERE), I thought I’d take a look back at some of the other worst big screen comic book adaptations of all time and see how this new piece of crap stacks up with the rest.
Before I get started — I’m going to admit that I actually enjoyed (to a certain degree) the following movies that the majority of you loathed: Ghost Rider, X-Men 3: The Last Stand, Green Lantern, Spawn, Daredevil, Spider-Man 3, Judge Dredd and The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. I didn’t see Elektra or Steel or even the latest Fantastic Four personally – although from what I’m hearing — it could very well sit at the top of this heap. And we’re still not counting the unreleased original Fantastic Four from the early 90’s are we? Cause if we are — I think there’s a scene where The Thing has an orgasm. It was awesome.
#10. X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Deadpool. I realize this was an origin story for Logan but did they really have to go and turn the lovable merc with a mouth into Baraka from Mortal Kombat? It’s unfathomable and makes zero sense to this day as to why that creative decision was made. Liev Schreiber was the only saving grace here playing Victor Creed aka Sabretooth. Thankfully the sequel ‘The Wolverine’ kept it simple by not involving more mutants than the X-Men films and as a result kept the story focused on Hugh Jackman.
#9. Fantastic Four (2005)
I think everybody still gets freaked out by Michael Chiklis in that Thing suit. Why they decided to go practical on this character is beyond me because I remember there being a decent Hulk movie floating around out there at the time and Ang Lee somehow pulled it off. The cast was good but the movie was goofy as shit. I had fun the first time but when I try to go back — it doesn’t work. Ever.
#8. Fantastic Four: Rise of The Silver Surfer
Doug Jones’ motion capture performance as the Silver Surfer was SO DAMN GOOD and the rest of the movie was SO DAMN BAD…. I remember Mr. Fantastic at a dance party bending all over the place with his bad self and I literally shut myself down from that point forward. I don’t know what the hell they were thinking but there’s only so far you can take that silly bullshit before it becomes sad. This was sad.
#7. Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance
On paper, having the directors behind the amazing Crank films helm a Ghost Rider sequel seems like the greatest decision in the history of film. I don’t know how Neveldine and Taylor botched this one but they sure as shit did. All they had to do was unleash Nicolas Cage, put those sweet ass Red Cameras on the action and let the Ghost Rider unleash his wrath. Instead we get maybe one or two great action scenes and a ton of weak disjointed garbage inbetween. I’m still mad about this.
#6. Howard The Duck
I remember watching Howard The Duck when I was a kid. I know this one has become a cult classic in it’s own right, but let’s get serious. It’s renowned for being one of the worst films ever made. It’s nice to see James Gunn inserting him into Guardians of The Galaxy but so help me god if they decide to reboot this thing in a new solo movie? Let’s face it – Marvel could do it and Marvel would make billions and make you like it.
#5. Jonah Hex
Michael Fassbender was awesome in this stupid movie. He was so awesome that it’s hard to even place Jonah Hex on this list but I remember reviewing it ages ago and when I think back — the hate flows through me. The film is loaded with horrid dialog and bad action sequences. This universe was ripe for exploring – I love sci-fi westerns. Perfect casting, a great score from Mastodon – nope – they still destroyed it because we can’t have nice things can we?
#4. R.I.P.D
Ryan Reynolds lands on this list twice but he’s probably on your worst comic book adaptations even more than that. He’s making up for his poor track record with the upcoming Deadpool so I forgive him… Jeff Bridges took this shit seriously didn’t he? He’s a ghost sheriff and he arrests other evil ghosts. R.I.P.D was so awful, so brutally awful that even the laughably poor moments weren’t worth the time it took to sit through this heaping pile of bullshit.
#3. Batman & Robin
Everybody remembers Arnold Schwarzenneger’s bad one-liners as Mr. Freeze but don’t go forgetting about Uma Thurman’s over the top performance as Poison Ivy either… I actually think she was worse. Remember when she took that skinny punk rocker thug guy and frankensteined him into bad Halloween costume variant Bane? George Clooney’s batsuit was extra sexed up and the movie was extra corny in the vein of the Adam West original TV series. Please note: that style doesn’t work anymore.
#2. The Spirit
After the success of Sin City, comic writer Frank Miller tried his hand at adapting his mentor’s The Spirit to the big screen. The end results are some of the most poorly acted and written scenes in not just comic book adaptations, but film in general. The Spirit’s failure was necessary because it showed us that you can’t snag success on visuals alone.
#1. Catwoman
Halle Berry’s follow-up to her Academy Award winning performance in Monster’s Ball is legendary. It’s so legendary that big name actors will actually re-think taking big action roles after they win an Oscar. What I remember the most about Catwoman is that stupid costume with the leather ears that made Berry’s head look gigantic. She looked like a mentally challenged dominatrix. Yup this one is still the best of the worst. By far.